'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!'

I will admit it, I have been sitting in the house for the last few days....mad as you know what. I spent all day Tuesday crying (it didn't help that I kept getting calls from people asking me if I was OK). I know everyone cares about me (thank you for the calls, emails, etc). I wanted to wallow in my "stuff" and frankly I wanted someone to wallow with me (don't you just hate a pity party? Especially when you are partying all by yourself). I became even angrier as I watched Marc appear to just move along each day as if everything was OK. I felt as if we had wasted the last two years of our life and frankly I just wanted to lay down and give it all up (ministry, church, people, yes even for a minute God). Of course I snapped out of rejecting God really fast. I know he is the one thing that will sustain me over the next few weeks, months and years (and frankly my mama didn't raise no fool). I mean less face facts, in the grand scheme of things, nothing much has changed. My family is still together, Marc still has a job (two if you count Interim Pastor), and our health is good (not great, but good). And life should be a lot less stressful (said with a laugh).

Marc has even discussed the pros and cons of starting all over from scratch in ministry with the smaller church. Basically he is dealing with the cards that have been laid out before him and he plans to just use the gifts God has given him for his glory (I'm not there yet, so bare with me).

Anyway, here I sat in my own little pity party corner, blog hopping and what do I come across but a post from Monique. Needless to say it shook me up. The part that really got me was this at the end:

I learned something about God that day. He knows if you're exhausted, you're hungry, you're serving in the wrong place or it is time to move on but you feel too responsible to budge. He knows if you're hurting or feeling rejected. He knows if you're sick or drowning under a wave of temptation. Or He knows if you just need your hair brushed. He sees you as an individual. Tell Him your need!

I got on my own flight, sobs choking my throat, wondering how many opportunities just like that one had I missed along the way . . all because I didn't want people to think I was strange. God didn't send me to that old man. He sent that old man to me..
John 1:14 'The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth'

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather, to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting, 'Wow! What a ride! Thank You, Lord!'

Thank you Monique for sharing this post. Thank you Beth Moore for being so open and honest and sharing your story with us. Thank you Lord for breaking down this old selfish body. For a few minutes (more like days) I forgot the bigger picture ( and the fact that its not about me ). So now I'm preparing for the ride, rough as it may be.