Love & Respect, The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

A few months back I had the opportunity to read The Language of Love and Respect . I had heard so many great reviews of the original Love and Respect that I thought I would try the second book in the series. Even though I got where the author was going with the material I was not as impressed by the second book (actually it left me fairly confuse, again a good reason probably to have started with the original book first...lol). When I was given the opportunity recently to read the original first book I jumped at the chance to see what I might have missed.

I can say now that I am so glad I gave the book a chance. From the moment I opened it and started reading I was amazed at how many of the points spoke to me. The way the book is laid out it keeps you reading because its like a light bulb comes on and you realize someone actually gets the differences between men and women and how we communicate. The book is broken down into three parts which clearly shows you the stages and steps needed to not only communicate differently with your spouse but lay out biblical principles for why women need love and men need respect. I would caution women especially to not get so caught up in the seemingly slanted view that many have said that the book promotes a man's agenda. Its really not that way and if you take the time to actually read through the book you will probably find yourself seeing things from a different perspective.

The book is a perfect tool for small groups and those who lead a marriage ministry. I have read many books on marriage over the years but very few have made me feel as if someone really got it and offered clear and concise ways to improve any marriage (even the good ones).

I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as a part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to give a positive review. The opinions expressed here are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commissions 16 CFR, part 255

What I learned from 14 Days of Fasting

1) I have more willpower then I thought!
2) I am not a patient person, and nursing is not my gift!
3) I need to study the bible on a more regular basis. When I didn't I felt very disconnected from God and from the people around me.
4) Its time to stop being so scared and just do the things God has called me to do!
5) I don't do well when I'm away from Marc!
6) I need a different recipe for a slushy!
7) With a little tweaking my cooking skills could improve! This will make my husband very happy.
8) When you are having a bad day, pop in the ipod and walk laps around the house!
9) I don't know what I would do without the support, and prayers of family (and friends).
10) I am not alone, God is standing beside me and wants to carry the load!

Long Update!

Life has been crazy to say the least...what with mom's accident, me trying to fast while taking care of said mom, wheel chairs, crutches, walkers, doctor visits, traveling back and forth from the beach to the country to having the well go out at her home and having to have family bring us water in jugs! I'm home for the weekend and trying to catch up on all of the stuff I didn't get to do while home with mom.

This week was the hardest part of the fast for me. Cooking two types of meals is very difficult (especially when one is the very things you are fasting from like meat and sugar...lol). My cravings were off the charts, but I stayed the course (minus some sugarless chewing gum, which helped my nerves). Unfortunately the one thing I found the hardest this week was staying on my reading plan. Mom's internet is sporadic at best, and with not much time to myself as I am use to I just couldn't seem to keep it together. Two days away from the end of the Daniel Fast portion and I'm learning that no matter how much you plan there will always be a chance your plans won't pan out. But that does not mean that God's plan for you will not come to fruition.

My mom never planned to break her ankle and be laid up for 6 weeks. I never planned to fast for 14 days while taking care of my injured mom. My sister never planned to have to spend her weekends on the road traveling back and forth to take care of our mom. But I believe God planned all along that when this event happened that we would all be in a position to have to depend on each other. He also knew our family would be there to help carry the load. I have seen my cousins, aunts, and uncles more in the last month then I can ever remember (especially at the beginning of a new year). Last night was the first night that my mom stayed alone since her accident. This morning when I called to check on her she said she was doing good. At least three cousins had shown up to spend time with her. At the time I was with my aunt who said that my mom had a village taking of her. And at this moment I am thanking God for that village that is my family.

Yes, sometimes your plans don't turn out the way you expected (or the way you planned) but God always has a plan. To often we try to do it all on our own. We think if we ask for help that its a sign of weakness. Or we get so caught up in the world that is our own that we forget that their are others around us in need. When I finally got a chance to tweet for the first time this week I was struck by how little it matters about Cyndi's needs. Its not about us. Its all about loving God, and loving others more then we love ourselves!

"Weak" One!

I made it through the week (even through some major trials). The best part happened today when my mom told me she was proud of me for sticking it out. A few weeks ago when I announced to the family that this was my plan, most of them looked at me like I was crazy. Then the day the call came from my mom that she had fallen and broke her ankle, and that she needed me....Well, I thought I might have been crazy also! Crazy for trying to continue with it while taking care of my mom. Crazy for dragging half of my kitchen home with me (food, spices, and cooking utensils). Crazy for trying to maintain a Reading plan, fasting from twitter and facebook for a week, and crazy for thinking I could do any of it in the first place! But a week later, I am so thankful for the voice in my head that said....you can do it! I know that voice was God. He gave me the courage to continue. And I know he will give me the courage to keep on doing things I never thought I was capable of doing! Its only been a week, and I still have a week to go..but unlike last week.....I know I can do it, no questions asked, no matter what comes my way....because my God said I could!

My Thoughts on Day 4

The last 24 hours have been a real roller coaster ride to say the least. I finally made it to my moms late last night (Marc's job took longer then he thought, so it was really late before we departed). My daughter Nicki went with us to help unload and also act as a travel companion for Marc on the ride back. After much debate I decided to stick with the fast. I packed up as many items as I could that would help me stay on track. At first I considered giving up, but a voice in my head kept saying why let this obstacle become an obstacle between you and me. Reading Leviticus has been very hard for me. I called Marc this morning to get his take on the book and he said its like a history lesson (which explains why I am having such a hard time with it. History was not one of my favorite courses in high school). The details that God passes on to Moses frankly bore me (its ok if I'm transparent right?). But as I read it I'm coming to realize just how often we give up on something because its hard. I can imagine that some of the people of Israel asked themselves why God? Why, so many details, so many rules, so many words....lol! When does it all stop? How often have we asked ourselves the same question and not liked the answer that God gives back? Yes, ministry is hard, yes loving your enemy is hard, marriage is hard, raising your children is hard. But...that is what I have called you to do. Has my mom's accident made my plans to fast a bit harder? Yes, but if I am committed to hearing from God then I have to accept the conditions in which he places me. Even if they inconvenience know one but me!

Life Interrupted

I got a call yesterday evening that my mom had fallen and broke her ankle. Its put life in chaos and completely disrupted my plans. I have the feeling there is a lesson in their somewhere. At the moment I don't know what that is, but since I have to pack today and get on the road it will have to wait! I will probably be gone a few weeks. As far as the fast is concerned, I'm taking it a day at a time. Right now my mom needs me and that is where I will be. I posted briefly on twitter and for a minute I was ready to cave in and just keep posting. Thankfully I came to my senses, and disabled my phone again to only receive incoming messages. So if you follow me on twitter and want to send me a note of encouragement (I have the feeling I will need it, along with your prayers) it would be appreciated. Thank you to everyone who has responded so far. My nose started bleeding last night and was still bleeding this morning (this is usually a sign of stress...HAHA), so please pray that I calm down enough to take care of what I need to take care. My sister and I will be tag teaming, so I will probably be back home on the weekends (we both live within two hours of my mom). I'm guessing picking patience as my word for the year and saying I would take one day at a time was a good thing! I will keep you posted here (mom does at least have the internet..lol).

My Thoughts on Day 2

Marc and I have been in ministry for many years. Being a Pastors wife is like no experience I have ever had. I realized this morning that God is stretching me and using me in new ways. He has bestowed gifts on me that I never knew I had. I imagine this is the same way the people in the wilderness felt when God commanded them to use their gifts to build his temple (Exodus 31). It hit me this morning that he has done and is doing the same thing today in all of us. He has given us gifts and talents to help build his Kingdom. Not for our glory, but so that the world can see and know who he is!

My Thoughts on Day 1

I may post everyday (or not). So far I am enjoying the time spent with God in the morning (its nearly noon and I have not even turned on the tv), and it must be working because when my mom called this morning she said I sounded better then I usually do on Mondays. I also think spending time with my family this weekend helped a lot. Laughter truly is good for the soul!

When people tell you to prepare for a fast ahead of time I could not agree more. One thing I know I will do differently the next time is have all of my recipes printed out in advance (running back and forth between the kitchen and the familyroom to look at the recipes on-line will not work) and also make sure I have completely de-cluttered my refrigerator of items that are not allowed (My son even had the nerve to bring home a bag of donuts from work. Funny thing is I was not tempted at all). Not to mention prepare some items in advance such as my vegetable broth, dressing for my salad, and making sure I have everything on my list (I have to make a trip to the store today to get fruit).

I spent a portion of the morning cooking the vegetable broth to use in recipes, and I made our dinner in a crockpot (chili veggie soup) in advance so that my whole day is not spent focused on the food. I want to be fully engaged in the fast itself (and not what I can and cannot eat for 14 days).

I missed reading the bible on Saturday and Sunday because of our schedule, but instead of worrying about what I missed I moved forward this morning with the reading for today. How ironic that it was doing the exodus of the children of Israel from Egypt. As I read the instructions God gave Moses and the people of Israel on how to live, and how to build a temple I was struck by how detailed God was. At first glance it a would almost appear as if God was trying to keep them busy (after all they spent 40 yrs in the wilderness, what else did they have to do...lol). But after discussing it with Marc and realizing it had more to do with God wanting us to do things his way, and not our own it struck a cord with me. It would seen that the Daniel Fast asked a lot of you (Marc even said there sure are a lot of rules), and yes you must be very detailed in your planning and preparation......but how great would it be if we were as detailed in the planning of our life? Of course the guidebook for that is our bible. I can't imagine what it must have been like to actually have God speak to you and talk with you the way he did with Moses. But thankfully he cares enough about me that he speaks to me in his word, and in my heart. How can I go a day without taking the time out to hear what he has to say?

Keeping Myself Accountable

Ok so this list is just to keep myself accountable over the next 14 days. And since I don't want my time with God to just be about me if you have any prayer request please let me know. If you don't want to share for the whole world to see just send me an email at witfour@hotmail(dot) com. So here is my 14 day plan. Hopefully some of these items will remain on my list even after the 14 days are over! So here goes:

1) No Salt. Mrs. Dash and I are about to become BFF's (again).
2) No Sugar (accept natural sugar in food). God bless my poor family in advance. Please pray I do not become an old grouch!
3) No facebook or twitter for the first week (this in an effort to stay focused on my time with God). I'm sure several people are singing "Hallelujah" right now. LOL
4) I'm doing a shorter version of the 21 Day Daniel Fast. I have been able to gather some great resources for this here and here. If I can get Marc to do it I may have to modify his diet to include fish and chicken because of his diabetes (and I'm thinking about cooking that in advance so I won't be tempted).
5) One thing I am trying to approve upon this year is to not eat after a certain time, and also to get a good nights sleep. So no meals after 6 PM, and my plan is to start going to bed by 11 PM. I know for some of you that is pretty late, but on average I was going to bed at 1 or 2 o'clock in the morning and now that I am older that just won't cut it anymore!
6) I plan to drink just water (maybe with a bit of lemon). I do plan to use natural fruit juices to cook with...but I won't be drinking it! My biggest sacrifice will be my almost daily sweet tea addiction from Chick-fil-A! LAWD, help me!
7) Its been a long time since I went near our Wii Game. So as much as I dread hearing that thing groan when I get on it, starting Monday the Wii and I will become friends again.
8) Lastly, but definitely not least and probably the most important part of this process is that I will be doing the 90 day Bible Reading Plan!

The countdown begins on Monday. Please keep me in your prayers (thank you to all of the ladies who have already sent me words of encouragement)!

14 Days!

I stated yesterday that I have not made any New Years Resolutions. But I did decide to start this year different. I'm determined to not repeat some of the same mistakes I have made over the years...and the first step towards that is to change my habits! So starting next Monday I will be fasting for 14 days. 7 of those days I will be fasting from twitter and facebook (which I'm sure will please some....lol)! I'm also cutting out all sugar and salt during the 14 days and will be sticking to vegetables, some whole grains and fruit (gonna get back on that awful Wii game also). Today I started the Bible in 90 days reading, and I'm really hoping this time will be a time of renewal, a chance to detox, and also to spend some time alone with my father God. Please pray for me (but especially for my family who I am sure will not be to happy about two weeks without meat...well at least not by my hands)!

Patiently.......taking one day at a time!

I have never been one for New Years Resolutions (Marc calls them Reso-lies!). But for the last few years I have participated in One Word for the new year. After a fairly stressful year I have decided that in 2011 my One Word will be "Patience". Which should be interesting because I tend to want things to happen..quick, fast and in a hurry (mostly in my personal goals for life and ministry...lol). I have no problem waiting patiently in the line at Disney. I even stay fairly calm when waiting in traffic, or at the grocery store check out line. But when it comes to ministry, or in the life of my family I want to see changes right away. At the end of this year I started to get discouraged, I was wiped out physically and emotionally. As a person who suffers from high blood pressure I knew something had to change.  So even though I have a few goals for the coming year (starting with some weight lost, and being more organized at home.....you know the usual New Year reso-lies) I'm going to take one day at a time and see where it takes me! More specifically, where God takes me! Which in itself is scary because he's definitely been talking to me about some stuff and all I keep saying is..."Really God"? So if you plan to follow me this year, hold on to your hats....its going to be a bumpy ride (or at the most a very interesting journey)!

Snow, glorious snow!

Look what I got for Christmas! Actually I think just about everyone on the east coast got a White Christmas. I got messages from family and friends blaming me for the white stuff. As much as I would love to take credit, I don't think I have that much clout! LOL

Merry Christmas from our home to yours!

I would like to wish each of you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Have a blessed holiday with your family and I will see you back in January. I especially would like to say Merry Christmas to all of the Pastors and Ministers Wives out there. I have learned from experience that know one understands this world we live in quite like another PW. To the pastors who have befriended my husband and I and who keep us in their prayers, thank you. To my friends over at Leading and Loving It thank you for taking in this PW from a small urban church in Norfolk VA. Special thanks to my friend Lori who has been such a blessing in my life. You may never know what your friendship has meant to me, but I love you for having such an open heart. See you all in 2011!

Christmas Decorations (just a peek)

I'm still working on the tree and Marc plans to put up some stuff outside as soon as his work schedule slows down at the end of the week! He has been working some long hours for his business the last few weeks which is good in one way, but I sure miss him! As soon as we are done I will add more pictures. It has snowed here twice in the last week and the weatherman says it may snow again come Wednesday and once more over the weekend! At the rate we are going I may get a White Christmas yet. If I do I plan to snap pictures for our Christmas card for next year (and by George I plan to get Marc into a pair of jeans and a Santa cap if it kills me ...or him. Whichever comes first)! And yes, I am already planning for next year, including Christmas colors! LOL

If you need some Christmas decorating ideas check out Kelly's blog and also The Nester's Christmas Tour of Homes.

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things

Since I have gone over my photo capacity for the moment. And since its close to Christmas I thought I would share a few of my favorite things (just call me Oprah)! HAHA

I love Bath and Body Works products. Especially their Hand Soap and Wall Flower Home Fragrance. My favorite scents are Sea Island Cotton and Dancing Waters.

I have been wearing Mary Kay products for over 20 years! And even now as a former Mary Kay representative I never travel without my basic skin care kit.

Many years ago I was introduced to Lady Remington jewelry (even sold it for a while), which is now called Lia Sophia. I have pieces that are at least 10 years old and are still in excellent condition for "costume" jewelry.

If you followed my Fashion week post you will have noticed that many of the clothing items I took on the cruise came from Catos. I like their low prices and the quality of the clothing is very good.

I don't cook very often, but when I do I break out my favorite pots and pans from HSN. Their Command Performance cookware are not just functional but they look pretty! LOL

Perfume and I have a love hate relationship. Most of the time when I try to spray a fragrance I start to sneeze. But many years ago Marc brought me several fragrances from Victoria Secret that I still love to this day. And because I can't wear it often (usually really special occasions) my bottles tend to last a very long time.

I'm more of a salt girl then that of sweets. But every once in a while I crave a bit of sugar. In most cases its either Sweet Tarts or a Zero Bar!

Its a given that as a SAHM for over 28 years I have done a bit of cleaning in that time. My kids hate the smell of Pine Sol, but for me my home is not clean if I can't smell the pine scent outside!  And I tend to buy Clorox Clean Up by the gallons at my local Sam's Club. Now I'm not suggesting adding this to your Christmas wish list, but we will all be doing a lot of cleaning over the next few weeks. Might as well use the products that work!

Now if the pine scent is too much for your delicate nose, then may I suggest the Mainstays candles from Walmart? Yes, Walmart candles are just as good as the more expensive ones from your favorite candle store and are just as fragrant.

My favorite gospel artist are Israel Houghton and Cece Winan. I own most if not all of their cds. The few I don't would make very good stocking stuffers (hint, hint to the family).

Oprah always has at least one favorite food item on her list of favorites. So in her honor, last but not least (candy doesn't count) I share with you my favorite food item from Panera Bread. Nothing beats a chicken salad sandwich and a bowl of broccoli and cheese soup! A gift card to Panera would be a great gift to give to your senior staff members.

So spill, what are a few of your favorite things?

Thanksgiving Day!

Just a few pics from Thanksgiving. I had planned to post more but seems I am out of space! Not sure what I will be doing to rememdy that , but we may be pictureless for a litle while on the blog! Guess you will have to check them out on facebook!

Sneek Peak at Christmas Colors 2010

I love decorating for the holidays and each year I try to come up with a different theme, or color for the Christmas season. This year I decided to keep things light and fun. I won't be going all out like last year. As a matter of fact I'm leaning towards only putting up one tree, and the outside won't be decked out with all of the usual lawn ornaments. Simplicity is the key (well as simple as I can get considering my love of decorating). I still plan to decorate the main rooms (diningroom, familyroom, foyer and stairs) but the word is low key with a bit of whimsy. So am I the only crazy person who does a different theme each year?

Happy Thanksgiving

I want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving Holiday. I will be spending the week hanging out with family and preparing for Thanksgiving Day. Granted, the only thing I have to do is pick up some rolls and a pie from our local Sam's Club! That is the beauty of holding the holiday celebrations at my mom's new home! Of course any holiday celebration with my family usually includes some crazy scheme, so it will be interesting to see how this year unfolds (pictures to come). So how will you be spending the holidays? Any Thanksgiving traditions to share?

Its all or nothing!

Honestly, I don't know where she gets it from. But the girl has to go all out, its all in or nothing. If you tell her she is going to be cheering in a game then she does it from head to toe! Nothing has changed, she is the most girly tomboy I know. And we all know how I feel about sports. This is all her dad's fault! Just Sayin.

The Black Queen of England! Who Knew?

So as many of you know this summer Nicki and I took a cruise to Canada with my mom and cousins. One of the tours we took was to a Black History Museum. Today while surfing through some of Nicki's photos I came across these pictures.

I have always had a fascination with the Royal Family. As a young teen I started reading romance books written about England (a few were written by an actual princess if I am not mistaken), many times about a prince and princess! When Princess Diana married Prince Charles I was glued to my TV just like everyone else in the world. I "followed" (can you imagine what it would have been like if we had twitter back then) her life from that moment on. Even keeping a scrapbook of the big day. I even ordered a smaller version of the engagement ring, which I still have to this day.

I was delighted to hear of the upcoming marriage of Prince William and Kate, and just as before have been following the story. I guess you can say I am a bit of a "royal family junkie" (hello, Disneyqueen addict here). So imagine my surprise when I read about Queen Charlotte, Black Queen of England! And all of those years we waited to get a Black Disney Princess, and there was a real live flesh and blood black queen all along! And how I missed this bit of info during the tour I will never know!