Eleana Garza

I'm not quite sure when Eleana and I became "friends", but we connected on twitter and facebook (see a pattern here with me and social media?...LOL). I gained a new respect for her at the Leading and Loving It Retreat. Eleana shared her story with me on the second night of the retreat. While others stood around us laughing and talking Eleana and I set on the floor of the lobby as I listened to her share her heartache and joys since coming to Christ and the struggles that her and her husband Joseph has faced since planting a church. She reminded me of all of the reasons I first wanted to make a connection with the wives of pastors (sometimes you just need someone to talk to)! I'm not sure Eleana was ready to share her story with the rest of the world but I'm so thankful she took up the challenge and agreed to guest blog! I know lives will be changed because of the things that she and Joseph have been able to conquer and the work that they are doing at New Generation Fellowship! Thank you Eleana for sharing your testimony with me. It was truly a blessing!

Eleana was radically saved and transformed at the age of 17 years old when she was admitted into a faith-based rehab for drug addicts. Well, since that radical conversion she has never been the same. Eleana & Joseph Garza started and pastor New Generation Fellowship in San Antonio Texas.  She likes blogging in her pajamas, lots of cheesecake, and black nail polish! She resides in San Antonio Texas with her husband Joseph Garza and her 4 beautiful children. Eleana is loving life, family, and ministry.

Joy Comes In The Morning!

In our last 10 years of ministry - I feel I have aged twice that. The hits life has given us, have challenged our faith, molded our character, rooted integrity within us, and made us most desperate for His presence in our life.

In every situation, we had to choose our reaction, a response. At times, I was so frozen by the pain, I was numb, and I felt I could go no more. I felt inadequate, spiritually, physically, mentally and the truth is....I was inadequate in every way. In the midst of each trial, each tragedy, each transition I could not go on in my own strength - it had to be in His strength.

As pastors we will deal with betrayal, people leaving you, leaving your church, gossip, and malice (those are just some of the few). My husband and I poured our lives, our finances, our resources, into a very dear family. We thought they knew us. We thought they knew our hearts. Our love for them, our love for our church, our love for the lost. And they left us. They left angry, they left offended, they left expecting more from us. They left and broke a piece of us in the process. As they spoke - I knew that nothing we said would matter. Nothing we said would make them stay. We stayed quiet. And they left.

You can only be betrayed by those you trust - those you are vulnerable too. And it hurt, it hurt deeply....why? Because we love them deeply.  The next few days - the puzzle pieces started coming together and all of a sudden I realized the knife that had been stabbed in my back was slowly turning and digging deeper.

Why would they say that about us, about my husband, about me, about my kids, why would they take others with them, why..........why didn’t they just talk to us.......why? I felt so alone. So Isolated.

I remember googling everything related to our pain but not much was out there....then I came across Leading & Loving It. I joined a virtual community group - not sure what it was - or if I should even participate...but I did....because deep down I desired to connect with other women that were in my same role and dealt with similar challenges. I am so glad I did. This virtual connection has been key in my ministry and personal life.

I remember calling Lori (founder of L&LI) and sharing my pain with her. I don’t know if she even knew but most of the phone call tears were quietly streaming down my face......not even because of the amazing advice, and words of encouragement she gave me (which were absolutely amazing - but would take up a whole other blog)....but just because she was there.

God did something incredible in my life, my heart and ministry during this time. Our team became closer and stronger than I could have ever imagined. Our people stepped up and started serving, and I felt stronger: spiritually, physically & mentally. In my brokeness I found a local pastor’s wife, mentor and friend, Denise Rion, who I am so blessed to have in my life. I found Lori Wilhite & Leading & Loving It and pw’s to do this ministry journey with! Joy came in the morning...

Pain is inevitable, but I refuse to allow pain, pettiness, malice or whatever to keep me from what God has called me to be. Ministry is the most exciting thing I have ever experienced, to see the life changes, marriages restored, the addicted set free - I want to be a part of that for the rest of my life. I had to make a choice to embrace the pain, cling to God, and continue to love people. Is it an easy choice?....well no it isn’t but us pastors wive’s were never looking to do easy :)!

If I can leave you with anything it’s this:

•  Don’t stop embracing people - because of the fear of pain.

•  Reach out to other PW’s or Women in Ministry that are going through pain.

•  Get connected to Leading & Loving It

•  & hold on to the vision God has called you and your family too because when you have a long-term vision the short-term problems won’t affect you as much.

...weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. Psalms 30:5