Happy Birthday Nicki

I spent the whole day with my baby girl who turned 23 today. We started off by going to have her hair done, then we hit the mall for some shopping and ended the day eating dinner with her cousins and big sister. Happy Birthday Nicki.

Sunday Night Mind Dump (In Pictures)

Its been a long day and I have been to three services in less then a 24 hour period, so tonight my mind dump is in picture form. The girls and I had the opportunity to see Ron Kenoly tonight at NLP. Nicki has been on set with him for the movie "The Bill Collector" and at one point tonight he even called the girls up to be with him during one of his songs (they lead the congregation in the electric slide).

Its been a long day (and its not even Sunday Night yet)!

Today I have completed a handmade greeting card, two layouts, 250 banquet tickets, 60 invites ( I did nearly 200 few nights ago), surfed the net for church pews/chairs, and started moving my Disney website pages here. MSN is closing up shop on their MSN groups so I had a choice of losing nearly 11 years of work or moving it all by February 2009. I choose to move it (now, because I am not sure what my life will be like next month, or the coming months for that matter). Now this girl is going to bed because we have two services tomorrow (and its 12:17 am and we all know what happens when I don't get sleep on Saturday night)! Add in some drama with the girls (less just say Nicki has not had the best time of it in the last 24 hours, and Quisha is not doing much better herself) , well all I have to say is nobody better call me "First Lady" tomorrow (lol) or I can't guarantee to be responsible for my actions. Of course I am joking (wink, wink).

Night folks!

Prayer for Jennifer Hudson

Please keep Jennifer Hudson and her family in your prayers. As many of you know her mom and brother were found dead in their Chicago home on yesterday. Also her young nephew has been reported as being missing. If you are on facebook you can leave a message here.

Live the Dream 2008

Hey ladies, ever want to go to a conference but didn't have the means (or in some cases the time) to do it? Well the Healing Place Church is giving you an opportunity to sit in on the sessions (and the background stuff) for their 2008 Women's Conference. How cool is that? Check it out here. It starts tomorrow (see you there...lol).

I actually found out about Pastor Rizzo when I heard him speak via a live podcast (I want to say it was a during a C3 event). Because I am at home during the day I get a chance to surf the net and because of that I have been introduced to some really neat people and have been able to have access to some really great resources. I love learning and I love information. I especially love it when people share.

This Crazy Life We Lead

Its funny how much I missed the internet when I didn't have access to it, but now that I do have it I don't have time to update. October has always been a crazy month for us. This year more so then usual. Marc wraps up his last month at GMZBC, but in the meantime WABC has been keeping him busy, add in his regular job as a technician and prior commitments. Well let's just say its a bit crazy around here.

Nicki is loving being on a real live movie set and she has been enjoying networking with other cast members and cast.

Quisha's days are filled with little ones, and lots of class planning. By the end of the day she is exhausted and usually crashes by 9 pm (with the exception of the night Grey's Anatomy comes on....lol).

TJ is still TJ (that is usually what I say when some ask about him). He's still working, playing videos and sleeping. I have come to a point in life where now I just pray for him. I will say this much, God is speaking to him in a very loud way. Two Sunday's in a row Pastor Dan may have well have just been talking to him personally ( I know he heard him because you could see it on his face). He basically said if you are over the age of 25 you should be doing more then just hanging out at your mom's home, and playing video games (granted he at least has a job, but I know God has so much more in store for him). Just keep him in prayer.

I missed two weeks of Primetime (Wednesday night bible study) at NLP (in part because of commitments to ministry) so I was worried last night that I would feel out of place. But God is amazing....he knows what you need to hear when you need to hear it (a few weeks ago it was letting go and forgiving). Last night the women were asked to let go of so many things that hold us back, cause us to react in fear, keep us from doing what God has called us to do.

A big one for me has been letting go of some past hurts. As a child I had someone speak some really bad seeds into my life, into my mind and into my heart. I believed those lies and for a long time have not been able to let go of both the physical and emotional scars from this. Its taken me a lot of years to except that this person had their own issues that had nothing to do with me and so I had to let go and forgive that person. What I didn't understand was how much of this still effected my life and how much of it I still carried around.

My lies were: I would never amount to anything and that I would never be loved (yes, he actually said these things to a 10 year old child). Last night I learned that God's truth was: I am special to God, he loves me. He actually made me to stand out, and he has a purpose and plan for my life.

Over the next 30 days my assignment is to say this out loud (we all know it takes 30 days to establish a new habit). So my question to you is what lies has the enemy been telling you? Now listen to your heavenly father and wait to hear his truth's.

Sunday Mind Dump (through the eyes of the wife)

1) I'm tired (and I'm not even the one preaching). I have said this several times over the last few months (today even more so). Our calender has been very full this month.

2) We have Youth Revival at our home church this week. The youth at WABC are attending to support their pastor.

3) WABC will be fellowshipping at my adopted church NLP this week also. I love the fact that the youth and the youth leaders at WABC are so open to new experiences.

4) Pastor Dan spoke this morning on ministering on the job, Marc preached on a similiar topic in his evening service. Coincidence? I think not!

5) In the next month WABC will be making some major changes. We are a Real Church, Serving the Real God, Reaching Out To Real People, to Effect Real Change.

6) I'm still going to be working with the youth and women of WABC, but I plan to concentrate on Young Adults, especially the college age. There is a great opportunity in our area to connect with them.

7) I'm still looking for a few good women (Pastors and Ministers Wives) who may be interested in helping me form a conference or workshop for Wives of Pastors and Ministers.

8) I got to see Secret Life of Bees this weekend. Make sure you take tissues when you go (I'm just saying).

9) I didn't make it to bed early last night. I won't be making that mistake again.

10) I have a special prayer request for my friend Kelli and baby Abe. Please keep them in your prayers. Especially spiritually for Kelli and physically for Abe.

Disclaimer: Marc really is a nice guy, I don't know why he looks like he is swallowing lemons in this photo (lol).

The Company Picnic

Here are the pictures as promised. Marc and I just set back and watched. Of course Nicki was in the middle of everything!

Hello World!

I'm back up (yah). It feels soo good to have Internet service again. Thank goodness we only had to use dial up for a few days! If I look a little stressed its because I am working on the installation service and luncheon. Seems like I do fine if I am planning an event for someone else, but because its for my hubby..well let's just say I am a little frazzled!

Sunday Mind Dump (through the eyes of the wife)

Sorry its late. Still having issues with our server (so this will be short and sweet).

1)I am resigned to the fact that I will be called a "First Lady".

2) We had a great service on Sunday and even some of the pews were filled with guest.

3) WABC is growing on me. It helped that we attended a luncheon with some of the members on Saturday. I got to have conversation with people.

4) We had a potluck "Meet and Greet" with the new pastor and his family (that's us ...lol) on Sunday. The food was awesome, but the fellowship was better.

5) After we left church we went to Nicki's company picnic. Now that was funny. I can't wait to post pictures.

6) It was great having a bit of downtime on Sunday, my family looked relaxed and happy (especially my husband). It just confirmed to me the importance of family time.

7) I hate being without the Internet. I felt like I missed out on the happenings of everyone's life (lol).

8) I had more stuff but it got lost when dial up kicked me off the net! And because its been a couple of days I forgot everything!!

I just wanted to check in. Nicki is texting this from her phone because our internet is down and it may be down for up to 10 days!! We're getting a new server and they have yet to show up!!!! I will update when the internet is back up.

Filming Begins

Filming begins today on "The Bill Collector". Nicki is so excited(so much so that we are not sure how long we will be able to stand it...lol). She got a call last night that she has been given a larger part, so a few more days of filming have been added to her schedule. This increases the likely hood that she won't be left on the cutting room floor. Please keep her in your prayers today and over the coming month. She is also working on a new song in the studio and has another song that has been finished for her to sing ( it's also a gospel song....yeah!).

Sunday Mind Dump (through the eyes of the wife)

Today just seemed like a long day, so I am doing this early and hitting the sack.

1) Sundays are kicking my butt and I am not even the one preaching! Please pray for all of the pastors out there who do this each week, several times during the day. It's a lot of work.

2) Last night I stayed up an extra 1/2 hour. I'm feeling it tonight.

3) Pastor Dan was speaking to my son today. I hope (and pray) he was listening.

4) The message was about The Difference Between a Job and a Vocation. We should do everything to the Glory of God (1st Corinthians 10:31). Rely on God's Power (1st Peter 4:1), and Commit to Excellence (Philippians 1:10). Sitting there I realized my vocation is working in ministry beside my husband.

5) At some point I will have to go over to WABC full time and visit my son at his church occasionally. I have enjoyed my quiet time at NLP, but there is work to do and God expects me beside my husband.

6) Marc revealed his vision to WABC today. They are are on fire and ready to move forward. Its exciting to see.

7) The planning for the Installation Service is coming together. Marc and I both have been amazed at how many of our friends and family are excited at the prospect of being a part of this.

8) Marc is looking for a few good men and women who are interested in helping with the ministry. If you know any potential leaders who would be willing to work for free give us a holler (lol).

9) I think I finally figured out why I have been so drawn to church planter husbands and wives. Marc and I feel as if we are planting a church. The only difference is that we already have a building, eager volunteers and leaders who are ready to work.

10) On our way home from the second service Marc leans over and says......Cyndi, I'm a pastor! He is soo funny. I love him.

Pastor Steven's Words

A day later I am still thinking about the message.

“Between the promise and the payoff, there is always a process". We forget the promise, and forfeit the payoff because we have fainted in the process. What if the whole time God was preparing you for what he was preparing for you in the process? The process wasn't pointless! The process was the point!

Steven Furtick

I heard Pastor Steven for the first time today. Granger Community Church has posted a link to their Innovate 08 Conference. So much of what he said reminded me of some of the things we have been going through. His message actually brought me to tears. I plan to share this with Marc. If you are a leader in any capacity, you need to hear this (Session 7).

Forgiveness

The lesson tonight in Primetime at NLP was "forgiveness". If you knew what was happening in my life right now you would laugh. But tonight I had a light bulb moment. These are some of my notes from the night:

If you want the Lord's forgiveness for you then you have to forgive.

When the pain is as fresh today as it was the day it happened then that is bitterness.

When you can't forgive you are harboring bitterness.

At the end of the class we were asked to come down to the altar and ask for forgiveness and to freely let go of some bitterness way may have been harboring. Then we were asked to leave it at the altar.

When we forgive we become released. Tonight I released some things from my pass (and my present) that has been a hinder. Now the test will be if I can leave it there.

I Can Feel The Presence of the Lord

Shaun in the City shared this story and I had to share it with others.

Sunday Mind Dump (through the eyes of the wife)

Marc gave his final message to the members of GMZBC this morning. To say that it wasn't emotional is an understatement. We both got a little choked up.......I basically cried like a big baby. I can honestly say for the first time in a longtime I felt comfortable with the direction that God is taking us as a couple and a family. His message was "Praise Ye the Lord", from Psalms 150.

1) Its very hard to say goodbye to people that you consider family, but unlike other pastors and wives who usually have to relocate to a new town or state our home church is just over the bridge from WABC.

2) What God has for you, really is for you. I get it now why God is moving us.

3) I made it through two services at my home church. It felt good to know that we are loved and will be missed. Sometimes people just need to hear it and feel it. It has taught me a very important lesson about unconditional love.

4) I learned today that some of my family and friends read my blog without having to be lead there via a link.

5) I'm learning how protective my kids are of Marc and I. They would go to blows with people over their mom and dad. Thankfully its not needed very often.

6) It really is to my family's best interest for me to go to bed at a decent hour on Saturday nights. It makes for a lot happier mom, which makes for a lot happier family on Sunday morning.

7) Waking up at 5:30 am on Sunday morning means I need to be in bed early on Sunday night!

8) The folks at WABC are not playing. They don't like it when their pastor is away.

9) We need a vacation break, fast! I'm thinking Disney (lol).

10) Planning an installation service takes a lot of time an attention to detail.

11) Black stockings work a lot better then tan!

12) This new "job"" is going to require a new wardrobe (granted it won't be matching suits and shoes), but the number of events we are expected to attend is wearing out my limited fall wardrobe. Besides what girl needs a reason to shop?

13) I will miss the youth at GMZBC. Which leaves this youth leader with a dilemma. I will have to meditate on what my new role will be in ministry. After nearly 14 years in youth ministry I am not sure that this is the direction God is taking me at WABC. Only time will tell.

14) Glad to be home in time for Sunday night TV.

15) Learned my lesson last week about posting the Sunday mind dump late....hence the reason its early tonight.

Until next week...........Cyndi (AKADisneyqueen, AKAScrapper, AKAPreacherwife).

WABC Lawn Party

We spent the afternoon at WABC hanging out with the members and talking shop. Marc has a lot of work ahead of him. In a few weeks he will hold his first staff meeting, and soon the first phase of the building campaign begins. By the end of the year he will start laying out the vision for the upcoming year and will begin staff training. In many ways we will be starting from scratch, but from everything I have seen so far the members of WABC are excited about the upcoming changes and the path that lies ahead.

So built we the wall; and all the wall was joined together unto the half thereof: for the people had a mind to work. - Nehemiah 4:6

Michelle's Q&A

Well it seems like Michelle's post on Pastors Wives has caused quite a stir. She has been posting some of the answers to questions that were asked during the session ( I thought I would have to wait for the book.....lol. I should have known differently because in the little time that I have got to know Michelle and her family I have learned that they are a very carrying, sharing family ).

1) Some of the questions.

2) The Criticism question.

3) The Friendship question.

And So It Begins

I think it hit him today that he is actually the pastor! When he arrived at the church tonight he went into the office and sat down in the chair for the first time (he has been at WABC for nearly 9 months....just enough time to birth a baby...lol, and had never actually sat in the pastor's chair behind the pastor's desk). One of the things that is really exciting to him is the fact that he will be in on the beginning of the churches building expansion (notice the floor plans from phase one). We have also started the planning for his installation service which will be sometime in November. Right now we are experiencing a lot of first. This week Marc is preaching revival for the first time so please keep him in your prayers over the next few days. His sermon title tonight was......."All Things New". The theme for the week is "Repentance: Not Just Talk". Of course I may be a little biased but I have to admit he did really good for a rookie (smile). Great job honey, and here is to many more blessed years ahead for you.

Extra, Extra read all about it!

Nicki has been cast as and extra in an upcoming film being created by Messenger Films. I have to admit I am so glad that her first film is a christian film! We will keep you all updated as she fulfills even more of her dreams. Please keep her in your prayers.

Speaking of Pastors Wives

My friend (and I use this term loosely only because we haven't actually met in person yet....but I believe someday we will) Michelle posted on her blog about a Q&A for Pastors Wives at Innovate 08 that she and Sheila Beeson held. Some of the questions from the session are surprising. Some I have heard before some I have even asked myself. My other friend Lori (another internet buddy) posted similar questions on her blog before heading to a Pastors Wives gathering recently. I agree with Michelle that we should all consider how we treat the wives (and especially children ) of our Pastors. More importantly I hope women (especially Christian women re-evaluate how we treat other women ). I blogged months ago (before I became a Senior PW ) about my dream of one day hosting an event where PW could come together and discuss ministry and the effects of ministry on our everyday lives (this is actually when Michelle and I started talking now that I think of it). I'm still praying to God that one day I will be able to connect with some people who can help this become a reality. There are some hurting women out there and sadly many of them are the wives of pastors!

By the way can you tell how passionate I am about this ( the blog says sometime after 8, but its actually 11:50 PM)? I should have been in bed hours ago!

Sunday Mind Dump

I thought it would be fun to do a Sunday mind dump ( through the eyes of a pastors wife ). Not sure how long I can keep this up, and my list will probably be very small (not even sure that anyone really cares). But here goes:

1) I have to admit its was nice seeing the love firsthand that WABC has for Marc ( I'm very proud to be his wife).
2) If your going to wear stockings in the morning for the first time since last winter then don't wait until 9 o'clock at night when your husband heads to Walmart for cream for his coffee ( I didn't even get a chance to make it to the sock section).
3) Don't drag out the toffee colored stockings from last winter that you tossed in the back of the drawer in the first place because you hated the color (of course I didn't notice how bad they looked until I was out the door on my way to service).
4) If your going to take pics for the churches new website, remember to bring fresh batteries.
5) I think Marc's message may have stepped on a few toes, but thanks to mind dump #1 it didn't matter (or maybe it didn't register).
6) I really need to go to bed at a decent hour on Saturday nights now that Sunday is a work day for this household.
7) Nicki joined us for the 2nd service and because of that I was able to make a trip to McDonald's in between service for a cheeseburger and fries with sweet tea.
8) I spent way too much time concerned about my attire for today. Having to dress 3 more times this week will be a challenge.
9) It was very weird being called the "FL" all day today, but even harder for my daughter who realized she was an official PK kid (lol).
10) I loved the fact that the weather was so cool that I didn't sweat like a pig.
11) I'm learning to except that some things in life can't be changed and sometimes you have to just go with the flow.
12) Lastly (and I am beginning to think my list should be "lessons learned" ) don't wait until 10 PM on Sunday night after 2 services to post a Sunday mind dump (when you should have just gone to bed)!

Its Official

It became official today. The announcement was made at both churches that Marc had become a Pastor. Its been amazing how excited our friends and family have been for us. Now the big question is how many would be willing to come and help with the ministry (lol). In an effort to be my authentic self I am very conscious of how often traditional church has been about serving their pastor and (you know that name for the wife that will remain unnamed). I made a point today of letting them know that we are here to serve as much (if not more) as they think they are here to serve us. But I also have enough sense to know that there will be times when I will have to submit to the will of the people (and right now the members of WABC are very excited about having a new leader). I don't want to make the mistake of taking away from the role of someone who has the gift of service just to make my own point. Sometime we have to be humble enough to accept help. The one thing I love about the people of WABC is their love for my husband. I hope that in the coming months and years that the love and the enthusiasm they have for him as their pastor can be translated into a love and enthusiasm for the people of our community.

Happy Birthday Que

My oldest daughter celebrated her birthday this weekend ( I should have said this week ). The girl had a schedule of events for 4 days! Frankly I am getting too old for this, but she comes by it honestly. Celebrations are a big part of our life. From the very beginning I made it a priority to celebrate the important events of our life so that my children would know that they were loved. They weren't always fancy, but the day doesn't go by without some acknowledgement of the occasion. So here's to you Que. Happy Birthday from mom and dad....we love you very much.

WABC

“Set your hope wholly and unchangeably on the grace (divine favor) that is coming to you when Jesus Christ (the Messiah) is revealed” (I Peter 1:13). It became official last night. Marc is now the new pastor at WABC.

Change In Seasons

You can smell it in the air. Fall is right and around the corner, and the change in season has begun. Someone recently said to me that we are coming into a new season in life. After two years in limbo our lives seem to be speeding up as fast as its slowing down. What took one church two years to do, we have seen another church make a decision in less then a month (granted Marc has been pastoring for nearly a year). Last week we met with the "powers that be" for dinner and a discussion on what our roles would be as Pastor and you guessed it....First Lady (LOL). This past week Marc met with the leadership of the church for a informal "meet and greet" and this coming Wednesday the church is expected to "vote" .


For nearly a month I have been fellowshipping at my "adopted" church and have become excited over the "changes" that have already been to occur in my life. I am spending more time at home, I have committed to a weekly bible series and I am taking more time out to just enjoy life, and reconnect with my creative side (the wreath above is my own creation, something I have not done in ages). So many of the pressures that I placed on myself have been lifted. Marc and I have talked about what the impact will be on our life as he takes over more responsibilities at WABC and have both agreed on one thing.....family time is imperative. In order for us to minister to others we need to maintain some type of downtime (and from everything I have read from other leaders and pastors this is the one mistake they wish they had not made in the beginning).

I recently looked at a picture of myself from two years ago and was shocked by how much I have physically aged. There are even a few grey hairs in my head that were not there before. I guess I never realized how much of a toil this process had taken on me both physical and spiritually. I'm now seeing that I put to much of my faith in man and very little of it in God. I said the right words and at times believed them but the one thing I forgot was to place all of the life in his hands. Some things I thought I had control of I now realize should have never (and thankfully weren't ) in my control.

For reasons that I don't understand God has seen fit to move Marc and I in a new direction, with new challenges and opportunities we may not have had if we had stayed where we were. My life is just as busy as ever, in fact probably more so. But I am finding that this "new season" offers a chance for a fresh start, a fresh perspective and a fresh vision for the future. What season are you in? What area of your life have you let become so "comfortable" that you have lost sight of the bigger picture (the one that God has chosen) ?

Special Prayers

Many of you have been keeping up with my friend Kelli and her family. I want to thank you for your prayers. This morning I received a very special prayer request from Kelli. Please add her to your prayer list. I am specifically asking that you pray for Abe, but especially for his mom.

Less We Forget

I remember where I was seven years ago ( how can you not). I was in bed talking on the phone with my bestfriend. I can still see the second plane going into the building and thinking to myself that this can't be a coincidence. I stayed glued to the TV set the entire day. Its still hard to believe that there are people out there who have that much hate in their hearts. Nicki visited NY this past spring and took several pictures from ground zero. For some reason this picture stayed in my brain. Please take a moment today to stop and pray for the many families who will be forever changed because of this event. Then pray for our country and for our nation.

Too Funny For Words!

I never open email that is forwarded from another source, but this morning I opened a email from Kelli and after reading it I had to share. I don't know a single woman who can't relate to this (plus, I needed a good laugh this morning):

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someones Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR! ), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.' In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.' To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT .. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.' By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.' As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?' This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door! This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!

First Lady

No, I don't mean Cindy McCain or Michelle Obama! I am talking about the First Lady of the church! I'm not sure but I believe this is a title that is mostly used by baptist (usually African American ) churches in the south. My grandmother, and my godmother were all "First Ladies" of their church. I knew at some point in my life someone would call me "First Lady". The problem is that many people assume that the first lady should act, dress, and "minister" in a certain way (at least that has been my experience). Many first ladies have their own parking space, their own office at the church, are head of the women's ministry (or children's ministry at church) and in many cases they become the person who other people "serve" rather then the person that serves.

A few weeks ago my mom and I had a "deep" discussion about what my responsibilities would be as "First Lady". My family (and some of my friends) know that I hate the word. I have been known to cringe when someone introduces me as the "First Lady" of the church. At one service the pastor introduced me as the First Lady and I must have had a look on my face because he immediately apologized. Let's just say I am working on my facial expressions! Anyway, my mom told me I needed to "dress" the part of a pastor's wife (aka firstlady). Now first of all if you know my mom, just the fact that this came out of her mouth floored me. Growing up my mom was known for wearing some really outrageous outfits (well at least through the eyes of her very conservative daughter....me). My mom even dressed up one year as a witch for Halloween (which just happens to be her birthday) to the dismay of her daughter (me). Of course my friends thought she was the coolest mom on the block. My girls rave about how cool their "Mimi" is (she offered to take them to the club on their 18th birthday and offered to take them to get their first drink when they turned 21). So when she told me I had a "image" to uphold ...well lets just say I thought I was talking to a alien from Mars! It took me a while to figure out where she was going with this. Basically my mom wanted me to be aware of the fact that whether I wanted to admit it or not people will be watching me. Some people will judge me based on past pastor's wives, some will compare me to other pastor's wives. The key is how I handle that (she didn't want me to be a rebel, or dress down to make a point). For me the question became do I present what I think they want to see or do I be me and hope that they see me as I am (warts and all).

This got me thinking about how often we put on that false outer shell. We worry about how people will view us. Sort of like high school when you were judged by who you hung out with, what you wore and even who you wore. I don't think church is much different (sad but true).

A few weeks after my conversation with my mom I talked to a friend who just happens to be a "First Lady" and she basically said , whether I like it or not that is what I am. Now what I do with that is up to me. Years ago based on my surroundings I dressed like the lady in the pink suit. Now I'm not knocking anyone who wears this (some of my best friends look good in the suits). But something happened to me when I hit the 40's. I shed a lot of the "first lady suits" I had been wearing because I didn't feel like me when I was in them ( I hate stockings in the summer, and all of those layers just made me feel hot and frumpy). I'm more likely to pick up the animal print skirt and top the lady above is wearing. On occasion you will even find me in the jeans and jacket (gasp). I think I have finally established my own personal style. What I am learning now is that even as a "First Lady" only I can establish what the means for Cyndi. God created me as a unique individual with unique gifts. How I use those gifts are up to me. And the best part? They have nothing at all to do with what I wear!

Memories

This morning while cleaning up my scraproom I came across these pictures (boy I looked young back then). Last month my Uncle Caroll passed away, and at the time none of us were able to get down to Atlanta for his memorial. I remember the morning my mom called to tell me he had passed away and I remember the pain that this brought me. At the time we had a lot of "church stuff" going on and it didn't really register with me what this meant. I recall spending the summer with them when we lived in DC, and then the first time that I was able to visit him and Aunt Gerry in Florida (that is when these pics were taken). My uncle was known for making some of the best hamburgers around (you can see them in the pictures). They weren't little hamburgers either! The last time I got to visit him at his home in Florida was not long after Aunt Gerry had passed away. The last time I actually got to see him was at my stepfathers funeral two years ago. The one thing I loved about my Uncle Caroll was the fact that he welcomed me into his home and into the family when my mom married his brother, not once did I ever feel less a part of the family then that of my sister. In many ways I actually got to spend more time with them as a child because we moved away from DC when my sister was born, and by then I had spent many summers with them hanging out by the pool and being spoiled by my aunt and uncle. A few years ago he remarried and moved to Atlanta and though we talked many times about visiting them in GA it never happened. Sometimes we let life get in the way of some really important things. Yes, God called us to ministry, but sometimes he calls us to minister to our own family members. I will always have fond memories of my time with them, but I'm kicking myself for putting off visiting him at a time when it may have been most important.